On Thursday of the week I arrived in Vancouver, I decided last minute to participate in the hostel group activity to Quarry Rock hike at Deep Cove. I was in for a surprise – big time.
It was really not a good day for me because I left that hike feeling inadequate and second-guessing my decision in coming to Vancouver. Don’t get me wrong, I am thankful that the Lord planned this adventure out for me, but I wonder if I should have taken the easy way out and gone to a different location.
To give you a bit of background, these were the odds stacked up against me as I was starting the hike with the rest of the group:
- I am not physically fit
- I come from a 30’ above sea level location
- I had not had a good amount of rest and also didn’t eat breakfast
- I have short legs
At the beginning, I was super excited to finally be able to explore nature and talk to my newfound friend, “M”, about DTS and her experiences but after the fifth step on the longest trail of my life, I didn’t want to continue. Thankfully, my roommate Sophie showed me sympathy and stayed behind with me and pushed me to get as far as I could.
I remember going up a step and looking at her and tearing up and saying, “This is so hard. I can’t do this,” and she just told me, “It’s okay. You’ve got this.”
We didn’t get all the way to the top, just about three-fourths of the way and the whole time I was feeling horrible because Sophie so graciously stayed behind to make sure that I was okay. We couldn’t make it to the top and get back down in time for us to take the shuttle back into town with the rest of the group.
I realized that I am stubborn and don’t want to give up, even when I know that I shouldn’t over-exert myself. I also realized that God has placed the right people along my path and show me how much I can learn compassion from them. I realized that I struggle more than most because of my weaknesses but that they don’t define who I am. I am not going to allow my weaknesses to define me because my worth is found in Christ alone.
I am determined to be able to get to the top of Quarry Rock one day and take in the view with a different perspective in life, and hopefully, with Sophie to be able to say that we finally did it!
How about you, have you ever struggled with feeling inadequate and how did you handle it?